as he makes beautiful what he loves." -Ernest Renan
Time for a Second Chance
Thursday, October 1, 2009
Because I am missing my wife.
Memories can be so fragile. That is what I have learned. It is because whenever I go back to the past I end up crying or sad at the end of the day. And that is what I am feeling at this moment.
I tried to compose myself as I watched the man of my dreams entered the hotel’s main door.
“I’m sorry I am late,” he reached for the chair in front of me and sat there facing me.
I nodded once. “Nothing to be sorry. It is me who’s early.”
“Okay. So are we going to discuss this annulment over the court or shall we fix it on ourselves?”
I was taken off guard by his directness. But I shook it away before he noticed it. “I’ll sign the papers. There would be no problen on my side.”
I saw him frowned.
“What?”
“What’s with you?”
It’s my turn to frowned. “What’s wrong with me?”
He shook his head. “No arguments this time? No bitchiness?”
I flinched at his last question. “Bitchiness?”
He nodded. “You looked different. What’s with the changes?”
I got tired. I wanted to say that because that’s what I am really feeling. I am tired pretending that what is happening doesn’t affect me when it does. And it hurts me. But he doesn’t need to know that.
“Nothing,” I answered.
I can see he didn’t believe my answer but he didn’t question me about it. He just stare at me. Trying to analyze me.
“Hand me the papers so I could go.”
He gave out a deep sigh. “I don’t have it with me.”
“What?”
“I don’t have it here with me. But I’ll make sure my lawyer will send it to your office within the day.”
I shook my head in disbelief. “If you didn’t have it with you then why did you set this meeting up?”
He squared his shoulder and smiled ridiculously.
“I can’t believe this.” I stand up and gathered my things. But before I could leave him he reached for my hand.
“Can’t you stay for a dinner? Even for old time sake.”
I gloat at him and shove away his hand.
“I don’t have time for this Benedict. Try setting another date if you want.”
“Must I set another time when you are already here? Why don’t you try it yourself today? Squeeze me in your schedule. Set another time for me.” His eyes was slightly pleading. If that was only an act then, he’ll surely get an award for best actor.
“Set a time for you? Why should i do that?”
He looked straight at me. Seriously. “Because I am missing my wife.”
I was stunned. I don’t know what to say. I know I should stay unaffected. I must not make him see my pretense is starting to wear off. But I was, literally, taken off guard by his reply.
“I am missing you, Meredith.”
Sugar Cane Love Story - an excerpt
Huwag mo akong gawing tanga.
“Ganito ang gawin natin. Hatiin natin ang mga bilihin para mapadali tayo. Eto ang bilin mo,” anang binata na hinati ang hawak nitong papel at inilagay sa palad niya.
Malakas niyang binasa ang mga nakasulat duon. “Kamatis, sibuyas, bawang. Galunggong?”
“May angal ka?” dumukot ito sa bulsa at naglabas ng limang daang piso.
Umiling siya. “Gaano kadami?”
“Kalahating kilo ang sabihin mo pero humingi ka ng dagdag.”
Natigilan siya. Hihingi pa ko ng dagdag para sa gulay? Nagpapatawa ba itong halimaw na ito? “Dagdag?”
“Makipagbaratan ka pa kung gusto mo sa presyo.”
“Gulay lang babaratin ko pa?” nakasimangot na napahalukipkip siya.
“Galunggong ang pinag-uusapan natin Sugar.”
“Oo nga. Alam ko.”
Nakita niya nang naguguluhang sa iba nito ibinaling ang paningin. Sa tingin niya ay binabalikan nito ang mga isinagot niya.
“Alam mo ba kung ano ang galunggong?” nakakunot ang noong muli siyang binalingan ng binata.
Puno ng kumpiyansang tumango siya. Ginagawa ba akong tanga nito? Of course, alam ko iyon.
“Ano ang galunggong?” hindi nakaligtas sa kanya ang isang nagbabantang ngiti sa labi nito.
Iritadong iningusan niya ang binata.
“Huwag mo akong gawing tanga.”
Tuluyang nang lumabas ang sinusupil nitong ngiti. “Bakit ayaw mong sagutin ang tanong ko?”
“Kasi walang sense ang tanong mo. Ginagawa mo lang akong walang alam.” Pero dahil sa tanong ng binata ay napaisip siya. Tama namang gulay ang galunggong, ‘di ba? Iyun iyong madalas na ulam ng mga katulong nila sa bahay. Pa-adobo pa nga ang luto, eh. Tama naman. Tama nga ba?
“Sige. Sasamahan kita. Ituro mo sa akin kung ano ang itsura nang galunggong,” hamon ng binata sa kanya na iminuwestra pa ang palad sa daan at pinauuna siya.
Pinagtitripan ba ako nito? Matagal siyang nakipagtitigan dito bago padabog na nanguna na sa paglalakad. Dahil sa wala naman siyang alam sa kung saan pupuntahan ang hinahanap ay halos nagpaikot-ikot pa sila sa loob ng palengke bago niya nagawang makita ang sadya.
Pasimpleng sinulyapan niya ang binata na kagat-kagat ang pang-ibabang labi sa pagpipigil na matawa.
Napapahiyang itinaas niya sa mukha nito ang nasa kamay na mga dahon. “Galunggong.”
Malakas na pagtawa ang isinagot nito sa kanya. Sa mata ay nangingislap ang nangingilid nitong luha.
Enthralled
He’s looking at you.
I sat quietly as I watched him from across the room. He was…what?…the most beautiful creature I have ever seen in my twenty years of living. He was huntingly beautiful that I just can’t keep my eyes from looking where he was.
“He seems to be from a different time, noh?”
I look up at my seatmate. She was Nicole. A beautiful lad who always bug me when I’m too caught up with my own thoughts.
“Ha?” Was I that obvious? Goodness!
“You can’t keep your eyes from him.”
“Hmm. Well…”
“I can’t blame you. I felt the same way though I felt edgy at times.”
Edgy? I wanted to ask why but I stopped myself. I focused my attention afterwards at the screen of my laptop.
I am here to study and not to wander around to look for someone interesting. I might as well dismiss the habit of looking at his way.
Then, I felt a slight nudge at my arm. “He’s looking at you.”
“What?” confused. I look across the room and met his grayish-black eyes. It looks dull and yet dangerous.
He didn’t look away and intently lock my stare to his. There was really something hunting in him. I can’t name what but it makes me more intrigue. I hold my breath when his stare became fierce. I wanted to look away but I can not. It was like he was literally holding my gaze to lock his. It was hypnotizing.
“Uh-oh.”
That broke the moment. I gasped for air. I was able to breathe again. I look away and look at Nicole at my side.
Nicole was clutching my arm tightly. It would bruise afterwards. That I am sure.
“Why?” I asked her. Sweats are forming in her temple.
“You didn’t see that?”
“See what?”
I saw her shake her head.
